This is not easy for me to do

ITS NOT EASY FOR ME TO DO!!

 NONE OF THIS! 

THO IT MAY SEEM IT IS

 looks are deceiving

 I want talk about you, 

I Been thinking about you when dealing with every day life for me

 I find myself using you for examples of bad relationships, 

so I keep silent, 

becase I really don't know what to say for any one 

other then there Gary area

 and if they need to view them,

 just trying to take my steps in the sand,

 to keep myself on a move,

 I'm happyer with a bitterness truth!

 I say I'm not, yet in truth! 

I'm very up set n all I have are my own emotions to comfort myself but,

 im fine!! 

I made the choice,

 cause the freedom I have,

  I don't have to keep my head down,

 even tho I feel at times,

 its hard to fake a smile,

 really not a easy thing to do, 

let me tell you!😒

 its another birthday,

I didn't shear with you, 

anniversary was always forgotten by you,

 koo! 

bigger better things to do,

 I'm just looking at how thing are really between us two,

 I felt like yesterday I'm missing you,

  then flash backs reminding myself that it's only an image i made of you, 

and I'm making the right decision for us,

 I'm just letting you know that,

 This is not easy!!

 and to keep it real! I'm shity, but I feel in my soul its the right thing to do, not for u!

 but me,  

cause nothing was going to change ,we stuck in the moment past, 

I'm sick  in the memory, 

on love that I had that was so strong but not enough to last, all wrong,

 I will always love you!

 like Whitney love Bobby,love no one like you, but I'm gone!

 I can move on from here,

 cause I know I want let no one hurt me like u did,

I Been datin and I'm telling you this, cause I don't want you  setting waitng,

 i m not going to put u though what mind trip you gave, 

so there's the note!

 in the real message that's here for you! Let me tell the truth, 

that's not a easy show to pull off, not easy to do!

cause I'm so not connected,  

to much resentment on mind to go off of,

 no trust!

 worst people want relation & relationship out the woodworks,

 and i only insearch for a friend,

sadly!

 i thought I had it in you,

 but there gos that one thought again,

  a image, and its not true, 

my mind still playing tricks on my soul,

 and yet again im a fool,  yet the things unsaid,

i have to let u know that I love you and don't take this the wrong way!

 I'm just still caring about you,

I have to help me cause only I can!

 So!

I'm taken my walk, 

leaving my foot prints in the sand,

 he's done

 I'm gone like the wind 

a phantom in the shadows,

I

 had to lose to win.

Love not done with me yet

                         Love not done with me yet!!!
        
               i found myself hurt alot sad miserable , cusing, fusing allowing myself to abused myself  about the hand i"ve got, very upset at the world and its plots and all  i got out of it, !witch is as good as bees spit! how easily it is to turn  things around when!,you just put it like it is by saying what most won't let out of their mouth!!tell it like it is, might send quite a shock ,simply just thinking of what you really got !nothing at all, well!! nothing of price, priceless  and the'er are few who truly open their eyes and claim they got this ,  said to a thought- fo, see how i said  thoughtful  meaning  fo  laughing out loud cause i let go , finally  because I know , but back to the original dynasty, had me guessing  seeing, yet still missing the lesson  that theres a blessng in the shadow cause i knew just  by trying my best to have faith in you for me, but all in the same time god really had me , no matter how i nip in ducked , god coutune to wash my face to wake, me up! i had no containment after the matter god know if i stayed with you i'll be shatter ! With a golden shower indeed pisted On! n God wouldn't leve me alone !to build hate so I know for fact God never really late? 
            Loves not done with me yet.   

I dont feel hurt, bitter about the PAIN!!  your love was makeing me insane , gone so long with the wind, fabbluse ! and they still want to ask us, OH WHOS by they !the exfacter  when you done with chapter, you now  you just be ready for a happyeverafter , on to the next, no regreats !gets us no were, dont lose what love is still there, hey I didnt know there were a place for a there  to care any more, I see when God move mountains shell also open doors  pear sunny sky's no blue!!fealt the hand of someone new! and is koo my litle  cuddle kangaroo, crazy and we just met, i guess it's 

LOVE who's not DONE YET